The Carrikers - August 2020

You might think Lake Oswego is all about the lake... but this is the Willamette... what is that all about?	Mom and Dad walked down the river a little ways... not 150 miles or anything, but they got a little exercise.	Dad also got a picture of the lake... of course, you can't really tell, but aren't they cute?!	They also went back out to Drift Creek Falls... and what did Dad take a picture of? A log on the ground!
And the bridge that he didn't really want to cross, but did twice (both times without stopping or looking down...)	And here... finally... Drift Creek Falls... ta da!	Remember how I said Dad didn't stop or look down? Mom took this one!	Hands, washing hands - Reaching out, don't touch me - I won't touch you - Bah bah bah...
Finally! Here we are in Minnesota!	We are a good lookin' bunch aren't we?	I wasn't kidding about 150 miles... we paddled all over... (don't tell anyone, but we might have touched Canada too :-) )	Buttercup will do just about anything for food... even shill for Jazzercize!
Really it was her birthday and Mom just wanted to do her best Aunt Maggie impression by taking lots of pictures...	I do not have the chicken pox... what was I saying? Oh yeah, I was shilling for Jazzercize too!	Who needs David Blaine? We have the amazing levitating dog!	This is the new me. Actually, of course I am the same as I ever was except for the haircut...
But with that new haircut I can get away with this look now... I think Dad is going to tell Mom, "That wasn't my favorite look" after she washes her color out...

Last month was a little light on pictures, so we're trying to make up for that a little bit this month... Feel free to check them out rather than reading this...

You're still here? You were supposed to look at the pictures... What am I going to talk about now?

I can't write about current events as I have been intentionally avoiding the news for weeks. I highly recommend it for everyone. Other than a little sand in your ears, pretending to be an ostrich is much better than being anxious about everything all the time.

Naturally, that leads us to talk about how ostriches do not bury their heads in the sand. Aside from the absurdity of thinking that a predator can't see you if you can't see it, is the absurdity that an ostrich has the ability to think rationally (or irrationally if you prefer.) Not to mention the fact that it would do you no good to deftly avoid a predator only to die of asphyxiation... Ostriches do, however, lay their eggs in shallow holes and use their beaks to turn them periodically, so perhaps some stupid person looked at an ostrich and said, "Look at that stupid bird, burying it's head in the sand." Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "it's" is not the possessive form of it, it is a contraction for it is... But, you clearly forgot that I started with "a stupid person..." who clearly wouldn't know the difference!

Now, you probably think you know all about the ostrich and how it can't fly and doesn't really bury its head in the sand, but did you know that it was known as the "camel bird" because of its long neck, big eyes, long eyelashes, and unique walk? And, of course, the ostrich is by no means the weirdest duck out there (I know... an ostrich isn't a duck... it's a figure of speech (actually, an ostrich is a bird... "it is a weird duck" is a figure of speech... and a reason to use "it's" correctly :-) )) I think that would have to go to the Hoatzin...

Commonly known as the "Stinkbird" because it smells like manure, it is one animal that has not become endangerd due to human poaching. Like a cow, the hoatzin has a foregut to break down the plants that it eats, but birds don't have rumens (ruminants like cows have a rumen) they have crops. The hoatzin's crop is so large that it displaces muscles that would otherwise help it fly. However, that doesn't stop the hoatzin from flying. It just stops it from flying well. Fortunately, baby hoatzins don't have to fly to survive to become adult hoatzins. When a great black hawk attacks a hoatzin nest, the chicks simply stop - drop - and roll and fall into the water below the nest. Then they swim to shore and use the CLAWS ON THEIR WINGS to haul themselves back on land and up the tree to their nest... Be sure not to think about a bird with claws on their wings when you're trying to get to sleep tonight... just put your head under your pillow and pretend they don't exist... And even though they do, they are a lot less scary than everything going on in our own country these days...